Monday, May 30, 2005
Of B and me Part I
Christmas Eve 1998. A conversation between me and my kan mei, a close and dear friend of mine. The topic for the day: my persistent singlehood. Her thoughts?
"It's like this. You would make a very good husband, but you are not a terribly exciting boyfriend."
To which another friend reply upon my telling of this anecdote, "Yeah, but don't you have to be a boyfriend before you can get to the marrying part?"
I must admit that phrase bugged me for a while after I heard it. In a sense, it sums up the essential dilemma of being a nice guy in Singapore doesn't it? Best case scenario, you get really close to her and hear all the stories about how the boyfriend's mistreating her and how she wishes he were more like you. Worst case, she thinks you are of alternate persuasion and tries to set you up with another like minded friend of hers. You just can't win.
Of course, the fact that I endured a string of bad luck and rejections in secondary school didn't help. It came as a relief in JC when for two years, I concentrated on (and distracted by) other pressing stuff (and nope, studies was waaaaay down on the list) and surprisingly, wasn't attracted to anyone in particular. A relatively stress free two years as I didn't have to be on best behavior and presentation around the girl that I like. Although of course, the fact that I'm entering National Service straight after my 'A's means that snowball's chance in hell that I would get attached in the next three years. Then again, I must have knocked my head too much in NS cos for nine months after BMT, I was too busy in Midshipman school to worry about the lack of a significant other. Weekends were usually spent in camp preparing for the coming week's activities. Time marches forward relentlessly and it was only after the commissioning parade that I had anytime to myself and really reflect on my life. I was proud of myself for having gone through the entire course successfully and decided to reward myself with a relaxing day doing nothing but reading in Borders.
Which is where I met her. ¶ 7:22:00 pm
"It's like this. You would make a very good husband, but you are not a terribly exciting boyfriend."
To which another friend reply upon my telling of this anecdote, "Yeah, but don't you have to be a boyfriend before you can get to the marrying part?"
I must admit that phrase bugged me for a while after I heard it. In a sense, it sums up the essential dilemma of being a nice guy in Singapore doesn't it? Best case scenario, you get really close to her and hear all the stories about how the boyfriend's mistreating her and how she wishes he were more like you. Worst case, she thinks you are of alternate persuasion and tries to set you up with another like minded friend of hers. You just can't win.
Of course, the fact that I endured a string of bad luck and rejections in secondary school didn't help. It came as a relief in JC when for two years, I concentrated on (and distracted by) other pressing stuff (and nope, studies was waaaaay down on the list) and surprisingly, wasn't attracted to anyone in particular. A relatively stress free two years as I didn't have to be on best behavior and presentation around the girl that I like. Although of course, the fact that I'm entering National Service straight after my 'A's means that snowball's chance in hell that I would get attached in the next three years. Then again, I must have knocked my head too much in NS cos for nine months after BMT, I was too busy in Midshipman school to worry about the lack of a significant other. Weekends were usually spent in camp preparing for the coming week's activities. Time marches forward relentlessly and it was only after the commissioning parade that I had anytime to myself and really reflect on my life. I was proud of myself for having gone through the entire course successfully and decided to reward myself with a relaxing day doing nothing but reading in Borders.
Which is where I met her. ¶ 7:22:00 pm
