dagger's take on things
Thursday, June 30, 2005
  In between places
One of the strange things about traveling is how disconnected you are from the traveling aspect of it. Think about it. You get onto a plane, sleep for a few hours and voila! You end up in a completely different place. It was a fascinating aspect of the whole moving around process.

Then watching the part in the Truman Show where they talked about how they drugged Truman while they do a set change so that Truman would actually end up somewhere new gave me the jeebies. Sometimes, traveling does feel like that for me. In a plane, going to somewhere new and exotic. Its kinda magical how everything changes after you spend some time in an aluminum crate. Surreal in fact. You don't get the sense that you have traveled very far.

It was a different feeling during MSTD. Onboard a ship, you see the scenery passing by you. Not so much in the open sea but more pronounced when you are near the coast. Especially considering that we had to do navigation onboard the ship so while we may have the physical sense of traveling, we could see it in the progress we made on the charts. Seeing the coordinates changing on the screen and plotting new positions every five minutes, marking our progress through the shores of Australia. At least there was the sense of movement you know?

File under whimsical.
 
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
  It's been a hard day night
This is going to be a long post so forgive me. I may even break it up into a few different posts just to organise my thoughts. Too many things have been happening today and the feelings have been running the gamut to perplexity, joy, sadness and worry.

Went back to my alma mater in the morning with two of my ex-classmates,E and EN. Both of them have just recently graduated and it was probably the last chance we have to visit our teacher together before we start work. They were late as usual. E is probably the only person I know who never arrives on time. I once turned up late fifteen minutes late deliberately for an appointment only for him to trump me and appear half an hour after. Seriously.

Anyway, most of our teachers have either transferred out or retired already. Now, half the teacher population are under twenty. Some of them are around our age which would make them the batch of NIE graduates that joined due to the intense recruiting conducted by MOE a few years back in conjunction with the pay revisions for teachers. I even discovered a former primary school classmate teaching here when I came back a year ago but turns out she had recently left the service to become an air stewardess.

That got me thinking about how many of these new teachers would actually stay on for the long haul. Most of them probably joined the service due to the weak economy back then and teaching offered one of the higher pay available to graduates back then. One wonders if their heart is really into it. It brings to mind memories of my sec 3 English teacher, Mr. IA. Suffice to say that he was not the best teacher I have seen although his form class idolised him (probably something to do with his Eurasian looks)

Contrast this with my maths teacher, Mr. NA. He will be retiring this Thursday after more than forty years of service. In the same school. That itself speaks volumes about dedication to the profession and the school. As a matter of fact, my father was his students back then. Let me tell you, that led to several interesting situations in maths classes, especially in those times when he was giving test results back to us. His maths tests were legendary in the school. Nobody could pass them. Nobody, not even the resident class genius from India. Had a shock when we got back our first paper and the highest score was 56 overall. But that was just his method of pushing us to study harder for our exams. Truth be told, if it wasn't for him, I'm not so sure I could have done as well as I did for maths back then. Not that I would have failed but I certainly performed way above expectations when finals came along. For that, thanks you Mr. NA. I'm sorry we never talk that much after leaving school but I wish you all the best in your retirement. No more chasing after errant students!

Anyway, my old chemistry teacher was about to go to class when she hits upon the idea of asking us to come along and talk to the class. Now they just had their mid-terms and the 'O' levels was approaching. She figured that we could go see the class, talk to them and show the class that graduates from my school do go out into the world and became successful (*ahem*, her words, not mine). Now anyone who knew me would know that youth empowerment is one of my pet subjects, in the sense that I try to actively work towards that in my projects. But talking to the class, it really made me wonder a lot. Despite being in the best class of one of the better performing neighborhood schools in Singapore, these kids were remarkably lacking in self-esteem.

Case in point. English was a perpetual worry for some of these kids, having grown up in an environment where parents spoke mostly dialet or Chinese if they were lucky. So passing language one is a genuine concern for many of them. I mean, EN understood that. He was barely passing until the 'O' prelims and final paper where he scrapped through with a B3. I had the same problem with Chemistry myself. Well, I have some with the abovementioned Mr. IA but that's another post. So EN was talking to them, giving advice about reading newspapers and practicing beast that you can before the exams. But all the students could retort was how difficult it is, how you can't just pass english by doing that, DESPITE a real life case standing in front of them. Then I talk a bit about attitude and mindset change. Now don't expect a Dead Poets Society moment and the whole class standing up and applauding my inspirational speech but surely you don't just go repeating your point about it being impossible? It really got me thinking about why these kids grew up with so little self esteem. Like I said, this was the best class out of the whole school. Don't they have any pride? Maybe I'm too harsh on sixteen year old kids. But It's just that I don't recall my classmates being so whiney back then. We complain when Mr. NA fails us but we picked ourselves right off the floor and resolved to work harder next time.

I want to help them. I really do. I don't mind giving tuition if they need it, talking to them, offering a listening ear for their problems if they need to talk. But don't they see that they have to want to help themselves first before we can step in?

Next, it was off to school for more biking training with the team. What can I say? It rained, we took shelter, decide to cut short training and went back to school. Though the two of them seemed quite happy. Because someone was absent? Couldn't be bothered; promised myself to keep my nose out of it. I mean, I care for my friends, but this scenario is way out of my league.

Akademisches Orchester Zurich (AOZ)
Tonight was also the night of the concert performance at the University Cultural Center. I was invited to the concert courtesy of the Swiss House Singapore as an alumni of the HSG term in Singapore. It was fun meeting the other alumni there as well, catching up on old times (and Swiss wine and chocolates). Some of the other fellow interns were there as well, N having invited R along, a Canadian interning with them now. The AOZ is more than a hundred years old and made up of about 70 undergraduates and graduates studying in Eidgenossische Technische Hochschule Zurich and Zurich University. It was my first live symphonic performance and I must say the experience was certainly worth it. The clarinet soloist was impeccable in his performance. N thought he was cute but then again, a lot of the girls thought he was cute.

Discovered a new composer! Darius Milhaud. They played his Sacramouche for Clarinet and Orchestra. Never knew a symphonic orchestra could play such jazzy and delightful tunes. It reminds me of Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue. A hop and skip here and there, while the strings were running all over the place. Probably have to look out for his recordings the next time I visit Gramophone.

After the concert, a group of us made our way to Fong Seng for some nasi lemak. I haven't had dinner and was looking forward to some food. Then the phone rang. Sms alert. Jaw dropped when I saw the message. II, a very close and dear friend of mine, was currently in NUH A&E. I have known her since we worked together in sec 3 on the school musical. She knew me since sec 1 when I apparently refused to lend her my gameboy. I swear, that never happened. I'm too nice for that. When I heard her voice over the phone, I was shocked by how weak and terrible she sounded. To tell the truth, it was quite scary. II had a history of illness so I was getting kind of worried there for a while. Her brother was already there accompanying her so she refused to let me go down and see her despite the proximity. So what was I to do? Just sms her all night, keeping her company while she waits to take a blood test and for the results to be released. Didn't really get to sleep much too after she was discharged; too hyped up for one day. I was in school anyway and didn't return home till about five thirty in the morning when the first bus came along. Didn't even get to sleep till seven thirty. Fine...

And thus ends one of the craziest day in my life.
 
Monday, June 27, 2005
  Home again
Went cycling over the last week, hence the long absence. It was in interesting trip. One am amazed at the amount of drama that can happen between two people and their circle of friends. Quarrels, fights, stomping, erratic behavior on the verge of psychotic, even an attempted robbery and highway chase at night. Not to say that it was all bad though. Most of us had a good time. The triple combination of cycling, fresh seafood and excellent tea tarik along the way help boost morale. Happiness can easily be measured in inverse proportion to the price of seafood and direct proportion to its quality. Throw in some succulent mutton satay and ikan bakar and you have a bunch of very happy cyclists. (Come to think of it, the unhappiest was also the one who ate the least. Hm...)

Of course for the whole trip, some of us could do nothing but harp on about how wonderful their SPD shoes were. For those not in the know, SPD are those shoes that with cleats at the bottom that connect securely with the pedals on the bike. It is the one most effective tool that can be use to improve your cycling efficiency. At this point in time, that makes four with SPDs, one considering, and two firmly in the no. I would buy a pair if only money would fall from the sky or leap when called into my hand but alas, such skills are beyond me so I would have to settle for my miserly toe clips and endure the cruel laughter of my peers.

Save money for rims and chain. Then chiong past them on the slopes. Haha, one can dream right?
 
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
  Whole lot of shaking going on
What's with all the earthquakes recently?

Let's ignore the ones in Sumatra for the time being. Even though they have been quakes and aftershocks there with alraming frequency. Here's a recap of the shaking over the last one week.

Sunday, Southern California, 5.5

Monday, Chile, 7.9 - 9.5 depending on who you ask.

Tuesday, Aleutian islands, Alaska, 6.8 tentatively

Three major earthquakes in as many days. Notice they are all on the eastern side of the Pacific Ring of Fire?

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Note that two of the quakes are on the boundary of the Pacific Plate and North American Plate. Which is also the location of one of the most famous faults in history. San Andreas.

So who really really wants to go to San Francisco? Sounds like we are overdue for another big one there.
 
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
  Tea for Two
So we met up over the weekend over a cup of tea. We went through the books, catching up, joking over people in the street. There were laughter and smiles, things almost seemed normal. It felt good talking to you like this again. But yet, as I see the scars of recent hurts on your face, and remnants of others on your body, my heart skipped a beat. And my resolve wavered.

Should have known it was not to be this easy.
 
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
  Part of that world
I just don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things, could be bad...

Look at these stuff, isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl,
the girl who has, everything

Look at this trove, treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you think, sure
She's got everything

I got gadgets and gizmos a plenty
I got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingcamabobs? I got twenty

But who cares?
No big deal
I want more...

I want to be where the people are
I wanna see, wanna see them dancing
Walking around on those, what do you call them?
Oh, feet

Flipping your fins, you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumping, dancing
Strolling along down the, what's that word again?
Streets

Up where they walk, up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wandering free, wish I could be,
part of that world

What would I give, if I could live,
out of these waters
What would I pay, to spend a day,
warm on the sands.

Betcha on land, they understand,
that they don't, reprimand their daughters
Bright young women, sick of swimming,
ready to stand...

And ready to know what the people know
Ask 'em my questions and get some answers
what's a fire and why does it, what's the word, burn?

When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love?
Love to explore that shore up above

Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world~
 
Personal musings and ramblings of a self confessed weird guy who likes taking pictures when inspiration hits him but would much rather hit the road for some cycling rather than study another business or marketing textbook unless it is something that gets his interest which is a lot of things especially general knowledge stuff, Last Chronicles of Thomas Convenent theories, backpacking trips as well as the occasional booker prize winner and oh yes, PS2 when I can find the time.

Name:
Location: Singapore

Smouldering cauldron of contradictions. Loud and obnoxious.

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